Dude, Where’s My Car?
News flash from Hollywood: Everyone involved in the making of Dude, Where’s My Car? has agreed to refer to this film under a new title: Dude, I Needed the Rent! If you’re looking for a review and plot synopsis of this “film,” visit foxmovies.com because I will not be giving you one. Instead, I wish to address how much the existence of such a “film” upsets me.
Please understand, I don’t see myself as an intellectual snob or anything. Some of my favorite films are stupid wastes of celluloid. For example, It’s Pat: The Movie is a horrible low in filmmaking and an absolutely hysterical example of how bad films can actually be good. But this film, swiping a page from the Charlie’s Angels book of filmmaking, is gawdawful. There is not one laugh in this film that is not derived from the degradation or humiliation of others. Scratch that: there is not one laugh in this film. Period. There is, however, a sex joke shared between a five year old and his dad toward the end of the film which makes the hamster rape sequence in last summer“s Nutty Professor sequel seem tame in comparison.
This film proves a point I’ve long held to be true: parents will let their kids see almost anything so long as they don’t have to spend time with them. Drop them off at the theatre and thank god they are gone for a couple of hours. Otherwise they might actually have to have a conversation with their own kid. What other reason does this film exist, besides the fact that it looks like it cost about a quarter to make and will make millions of dollars at the box office and spawn an equally pathetic sequel entitled Dude, Where’s My Car Again? I’m open to any theories on this.