Living Things

Instance 6: Chocolate Hearts

Small things make a difference to most people. While they can’t possibly play the big games or paint the big pictures, they will relish the tiny sliver of justice in the indescernable tube of various meat by-products that is life. So it was when Huffy, surfing online news articles, said, “They’re recalling that last software update. I knew it! It was too buggy for them to even consider to put out, let alone charge $99 for that crap,” to his corner neighbors, Kevin O’ and Kevin McK. KevinMcK chuckled.

“Okay,” said KevCan. He gave Huffy a sidelong glance.

“Okay?” yelped Huffy. “It’s great; that’s what it is. It’s a little bit of Karmic justice in a world that is sorely lacking.”

“Whatever,” said KevCan, “just relax. There’s nothing to get excited about.”

Deflated, Huffy said, “It’s rightous indignation, man,” then changed the subject and asked, “How was your show last night?”

“It went well. Place was small, but a couple of guys came on stage when we were finishing up our set with a boom box and started to rap while we played some backup rhythm. They wanted our number so we could do it again.”

“That’s totally cool,” agreed Huffy. “I wish I saw that. Did Princess go?” Before waiting for an answer from KevCan, Huffy raised his voice and asked, “Did you go to KevCan’s show, Princess?”

Princess popped her head over the partition and said, “No, I missed it. Did you see it?”

Huffy and KevCan both looked at her kneeling on her desk to peek over the separation. They both smiled at the sight of her, and inwardly sighed. She was very pretty and friendly to both of them, and if Huffy had dreams of basking in her radiance, KevCan vocalized his fantasies with triple the intensity of anything that Huffy could imagine. KevCan wrote her e-mails, played songs that she requested on his computer, took lunches with her, told her of his undying love for her. Everyone in the company knew of KevCan’s unrequited infactuation for Princess. Everyone in the company also knew of KevCan’s fiancee and their child. No one took his love for Princess seriously, save for KevCan.

Princess didn’t really take it seriously, either, but she was embarrassed and flattered constantly by KevCan’s single-mindedness. She had once related a story to Huffy about a visit by KevCan on Valentine’s Day:

You remember that I had just broken up with that bastard cop. It was Black Sunday, and I didn’t really want to see anyone or do anything. KevCan had just called up to see if I was going into the office because he knew that I had work to catch up on. I told him that I didn’t really feel like it. I had the laptop. It was warm and comfy in my home. You know.

So about ten minutes later I see a big orange thing carrying a big heart right outside my door. I mean, how can I not be flattered by that? I let him in and say, “I hope you got your fiance something bigger.” Of course, he just grins.

I haven’t eaten much of them, except for the caramel ones, which I can pick out without a problem. [Laughs] It was so funny, because he had about six of them, but they were all these horrible strawberry and lemon creme filled things. KevCan kept deliberately picking different shaped ones so he wouldn’t get the same thing, but no matter which one he picked, it was just these gross pink things.

Do you want one?

“No, Princess, I didn’t get a chance to see him,” Huffy said, wishing he had given her the box of chocolate.

“Well, why don’t we both go next time?” she asked him.

“I would love that,” he answered.