End of October Blahs

Two thing have been on my mind, lately. Allow me to share them with you.

The first is wondering why a lot of folks in my age group get apoplectic when a twenty-year old cashier refers to them as “sir” or “ma’am.” I was waiting all my life for a bit of respect from any commercial establishment, so it doesn’t bother me at all. And when I think of it, I was referring to everyone as “sir” or “ma’am,” constantly in my retail/service-industry days. What exactly is wrong with honorifics? Getting to be thirty or forty is not that big of a deal these days. I don’t know why many of my peers think that they are suddenly so old that kids think of them as elders.

One interesting thing about time is that you’ll always be older than those younger than you. This sounds trite, I know, but it’s deeper than that. No matter what age you live to, you’ll always have a frame of reference that is different from those that may eventually get to the same age. As soon as you are born, you are a relic of your time. I guess this may not be soothing to those who wish to believe that they are young-at-heart, and “with it,” but it should lead to a different point of view. Your experiences are enriched with time, and you will always have a larger world view than those that are younger.

And what’s more, everyone should be using honorifics, anyway. A clerk who is 10 years older than me should still ask, “Can I help you, sir,” just as much as a clerk 10 years younger. Chief, boss, and dude just don’t convey the respect that we should all be giving each other. I was going to write a whole essay about this, but then I said, why bother?

The second thing on my mind is depression. It’s insidious. It used to disable me completely, but, with little stress and decent circumstances in my daily life, depression is just kind of nipping at the back of my head. It covers me like a warm, wet blanket — weighing me down just enough that I feel the burden, but not enough that I can’t go on. I’ve noticed it creep up on me for all of October. Although October is a favorite month of mine, what with all the fall colors and Halloween, it has never been good for my mental state.

Lately, I’ve been feeling weary and fatigued for no apparent reason. I stop working on things, because I believe it to be futile to continue just to disappointment. I fail to start on projects for much the same reason.

But, after all, I do these things all the time. It is possible that this month I’ve just noticed it more.

Posted by Jonathan at 02:56 AM, 31 October 2002

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