We interrupt this blog for a very special interview with our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Jesus: Thank you very much, Mac, for letting me take this opportunity to address the world at large to answer a question that has been raised recently, namely, “What would Jesus drink?” I think the answer to this is obvious… MacPhoenix: Excuse me, Jesus, but… Jesus: Hey, Mac, didn’t you ever learn that it isn’t nice to interrupt? Especially when I decide whether or not you get into heaven? MacPhoenix: Yes, Lord, but… Jesus: Thank you. Anyway, anyone who knows Me knows that I love a drop of Manischewitz now and again. So when someone asks, “What would Jesus drink?” you can assure him that I drink Manischewitz. But lately… MacPhoenix: Um, Jesus, You see… Jesus: Look, Mac, you gave Me this opportunity to answer this philosophical question that has been all over the media, and I’m answering it. To continue, sometimes on a Sunday night after all the prayers have been answered, St. Peter and I like to kick back and watch some football with a few brewskis. Lately, I’ve been into Magic Hat’s Fat Angel. It’s got a really nice, mellow flavor, and it reminds me of Raphael, who’s been putting on a few pounds in the past millennium. MacPhoenix: Jesus, I’m sorry. We want to know what would Jesus drive, not what You would drink. Jesus: Beg pardon? MacPhoenix: Yeah, the question is, “What would Jesus drive?Jesus: But I don’t drive. MacPhoenix: But if You did? Jesus: Look, I’ve been doing just fine for two thousand years with just My sandals. The last thing I need to worry about is insurance. I mean, you turn into a senior citizen and those rates shoot right up to heaven. I’m a senior 30 times over. And I wouldn’t even know where to buy one. We don’t have any car salesmen up here. And do I put one of those tacky fish on My car? Or maybe just a vanity plate spelling out “JESUS,” and a tag border that says “Be very careful: Your Savior is in this car.” MacPhoenix: Thank You, Jesus, for taking the time to answer this thought-provoking question. Next week, we’ll be talking to the Pat Robertson on his views about gay, Liberal Muslims: Are they the chosen people? Good night.

  • Kinda reminds me of an old “interview” with Jesus skit George Carlin did in the 70s.

  • CP

    Why do I keep reading things on this site. This isn’t offensive exactly, its just not funny. I mean I really appreciate humor directed at Christians if it points out flaws or quirks that everyone knows exist but people deal with anyway, but this is just… whats the point? You claim Signs was a bad movie cause it wasnt believeable and THIS is better? As if a safior of an entire planet would CARE about interviews at all let alone what he would drink? Come on…