Ban all things French; Send Back the Statue of Liberty.

Poor Auntie America. Her lap-dog, Media, kept barking and barking at the Frenchys’ house across the pond. Now, even Auntie’s husband, Uncle Gov, can’t take the noise and has started to threaten the Frenchys with gross, unmindful rhetoric.

But Auntie forgets just what our long time friends, the Frenchys, have meant to us. The supported us during our property dispute with the Englunds so many years ago. We, in turn, gave the Frenchys a couple of ideas on how to redecorate their own garden. The Frenchys have influenced the way we speak, the way we dress, and even the way we drink and eat, what with all the fine wines and cheeses they bring over to our pot-luck dinners. And the Frenchys have been ever so grateful to us since we helped repair the damage of that horrible storm back in the 40s.

Yes, the Frenchys can be arrogant. They are, in this situation, looking out for their own interests, before ours. And we often don’t understand their foreign ways, but, no doubt, we’re appearing the same way to them. Auntie America would do well to remember that a difference of opinion with her neighbors is no reason to throw the baby out with the bath water. Let’s not fight with a neighbor that we’re not at war with, Auntie. And let’s keep the nice statue that they gave us that sits in our front lawn. It means so much to both families, and it brightens the place up.

But that is just the way Auntie America is. I guess one could say it like this: It is Auntie American to belittle an ally over a disagreement.