Introduction: Way back when, in high school to be precise, my friends and I used to while away the time by writing silly things to each other and passing them back and forth. I’ve noticed that my blog, while mostly created by me, is also a great forum for writing silly things to your friends and hoping you won’t get caught in the process. And it got me thinking about the actual content of what I used to write in those illicit notes. My fondest was the nonsensical phrases I used to write that began with, “Life is like a hot cup of java…” I started off rationally, with “Life is like a hot cup of java, it is a lot less bitter when you sweeten it.” Trite sentiment, no doubt, but it was to progress into much sillier territory by year’s end, surreal and subversive. Something like this: “Life is like a cup of java, spill it on your crotch and you’ll cry like a little baby.” Now, if I may show how forward-thinking I was, this was before the McDonald’s lawsuit, before Starbucks was as ubiquitous as 7-11, and before Java was a language. Occasionally, I’d write, “Life is like a hot cup of joe…,” but this led to more confusion than was necessary, so I’m going to stick with java. As I think of them, I’m going to add them here in my blog. You may not find them the least funny or thought provoking, but that’s okay, since I think you dress funny. “Life is like a hot cup of java, dark and sweet, like my men.”