This isn’t a line drawn in the sand. I like when people are helpful, so the last thing I want to do is discourage helpfulness. But sometimes, being too helpful becomes a burden.
Recently, I had a print job that I handed off to a company through an online uploader. The uploader had a preview feature that showed how the final print would look, but when I picked up the job, my prints were not correct. There was a big white square where an image should have been. I was very willing to admit the error was my fault, until I realized that the person who ran the job saw the same preview as I did. They ran all the prints, even though they were significantly different than the preview. So I went home and called the corporate headquarters, and they agreed to run the print job again. A very helpful representative made sure that the prints would go through this time with everything in place.
Now I had set this print job up with crop marks, meaning that the final size of the job was less than the paper size it was printed on. This is fairly standard in printing. But what I did not do was ask for the prints to be cut down to the final size. I just wanted the prints; however, going above and beyond, the very helpful representative cut my job for me, I assume, to make up for the job not printing right in the first place.
I’m willing to forgive, for an example, the fact that the job was cut incorrectly, because it amounted to about a ¼" difference, but I had to print on the back of this particular job, and this instance of helpfulness made me spend extra time on something that had a looming deadline. I was able to get the job out, but there was a sinking feeling when I pulled those cut prints out of the bag when I went to pick them up.
Again, no names are mentioned here, because I don’t want to discourage helpfulness. The person who helped me with those prints really came through when I needed it. But going beyond what I needed created its own set of problems.
Sometimes, acts of charity come from strange sources. Yesterday, I was working on a bit of web code for a job. I tested the code on **Safari**, the **Apple** browser, and everything was working well. I uploaded the job to the test server, and told my client to check it, and sure enough, it didn’t work for him.
I checked it again, on the server, using Safari, and it worked fine. Now there are several browsers, and they all tend to display web pages slightly differently, but the code that I was writing had to do with a form, and that’s all server-side standards that shouldn’t be affected by what browser sends the data.
And yet, when I tried the same form that was working fine in Safari, it failed in **Firefox** and **Internet Explorer**. I was mightily confused, and it took me about two hours to discover that I had made a spelling mistake. There is an attribute to the form called *enctype*, which stands for encoding type. It helps the browser send data to the server in the proper format. The enctype that I wanted to send was “multipart/form-data,” essentially meaning that I wanted it to send different types of data at once, text and files. Unfortunately, what I typed was “mutlipart/form-data.” I’m willing to bet that many people, at least at first glance, wouldn’t see the difference. It took me quite some time. But when I did find the dyslexic typo, the stress that was building up in me squeezed out like an undone balloon.
And then I thought, Hey! Why did Safari allow the form to go through?
Safari was being helpful. Very helpful. Too helpful. If the form didn’t work when I first typed it, I would have looked for a spelling mistake right away. It’s part of my workflow. I expect to have plenty of spelling errors in my documents, so I would have had to scrutinize my code. I would have caught it at the beginning of my scripting, and not sent it to the client, who’s wondering why I would deem a job finished when it’s throwing errors all over the place.
There is a balance, then, but I guess I’m glad that there are people who err on the side of too helpful. The world would be a genuinely frustrating place if it were filled with those who are too helpful, because we’d all have to backtrack a bit before we could get on with what we were supposed to be doing, but it’d probably be a whole lot better than this selfish, do-unto-others-*before*-they-do-unto-you world.
Author: MacPhoenix
Sneaky advert for car company
So a couple of weeks ago, I got an official-looking mailing, apparently from “County of Suffolk.” Now I knew that it was not actually from Suffolk County, let alone from the government of the county, because the postage came from Fort Lauderdale, Florida. A scan of the outside of the mailing is below.
Let’s enumerate the warning signs:
* “County of Suffolk” is not an actual entity. Something from the county clerk would say “Office of the Suffolk County Clerk.” Something from the sheriff would say “Suffolk County Sheriff’s Office.” And so on. “County of Suffolk” is no one.
* There is no insignia. County offices have shields and other symbols representing official documents. They even put these on the outside of envelopes.
* Jury notification or the like would have printed on the envelope, “Jury Notification,” or the like.
* The cancellation was from Florida. Suffolk County, Long Island, New York, officials don’t mail things from Florida.
* Many mass-mailing services are located in Florida, where it’s cheaper to print tons of crap than it is in New York.
And so, of course, this was an advertisement for a car dealership in my town.
Indy pauses mid-stretch to see what the photographer is doing. Jinx is concerned she’ll have to leave the box should Indy manage to touch her.
Seriously?
The headline? The top story? Really?
K… show of hands. Who here is eager to go through the pain of childbirth without having that modicum of pleasure we get from sex? Listen, I know there is a small subset of women, who, for whatever reason, can’t get pregnant from their partner. I know it’s [big business][1]. But is this really national news? Or, maybe, are they just trying to scare the easily scared by intimating that we won’t need men anymore?
And honestly, speaking as an endangered male, good riddance. Who the hell needs us? Without men, we wouldn’t have G or GW Bush. No Dick Cheney. No Rush Limbaugh, Bill O’Reilly, Glenn Beck, or Ann Coulter.
Cheap shots aside, the only thing that being able to combine two eggs into a fertilized zygote would do is give hope to a few thousand childless couples. “Goodbye Dad?” Ugly and unnecessary. Time for me to link to a new news site.
[1]: http://www.asrm.org/Patients/faqs.html#Q6:
Masons Have Ruined My Blog!
There’s a silly public access program that’s repeated often late night on cable. The title of the series is **The (Not So) Hidden Agenda**. I’ve watched snippets of two different episodes, but both the episodes are repeated over and over again, so I assume that this series is mad up entirely of two hour-long episodes. Both episodes are noted for their lack of clarity and confusing visuals. They take stock footage and overlay it with simplistic graphics or filters that turn everything negative or [solarise][1] images or whatever. Then there is narration and often a backtrack of heavy metal music.
I’m not clear on why the producers of this series decided that heavy metal music was appropriate for the show. I guess to make everything more exciting. At any rate, the two episodes that I have seen both deal with the hidden connections of everything. I have a soft-spot in my logic center for [holistic][2] histories, so the episode that deals with the earth-goddess and phallic symbols and triple-headed gods is all fine and good, if too new-agey and trippy. That episode has plenty of conspiracy theories in it and assumes that we all hate the Freemasons, but the other episode I’ve seen is entirely about the Freemasons and their plot to control our lives.
It’s very silly. There is a part where they go on about **The Simpsons** episode with the *Stonecutters* that is mind-bogglingly puerile, but that’s not important right now.
What got me though, and still bothers me, weeks after I’ve seen it, was tortured logic and bad history about the founding of America. Yes, it’s true. America was founded by Freemasons, which is like saying that Corporate America is run by Ivy League graduates. It proves that elites run in small circles, but nothing more.
Anyway, the fear-mongering about Masons running the government isn’t the *really* crazy part. It was this: The show talked about England being run by the Masons in Colonial times. France, however was not. The Masons in France were middle-class, but were not in the nobility, so their machinations were limited by their lack of power. So they set up the French Revolution, which pitted the poor against the rich. See? The Masons, who were in the middle, could just sit back and let the poor do their dirty work. Brilliant! And it worked really well, too. The king was beheaded, and France looked like it was going to fall in control of the Masons.
But the Masons miscalculated. The show is not clear on how exactly. It really ignored the [Reign of Terror][3], so it wasn’t that the poor got fed up with the autocratic and capricious rule of their new masters. Instead, the show says that the Masons screwed up by not counting on Napoleon taking over. Napoleon, the show assures us, was not a Mason. Of course not, since England (ruled by Masons, remember) worked so hard to defeat Napoleon. The Masons were determined to not make this same mistake in America.
So the middle-class American Masons, who did not have power in Colonial America, overthrew the government, and installed themselves into power, thus preventing a Napoleon-like figure from taking over.
The narration strained over this amazing bit of misinformation. The show had spent the last 10 minutes talking about how the Masons controlled England. So it was a teensy-tiny bit illogical to say that the Americans overthrew the English Masons to install American Masons. But, the show stressed, that’s how clever the Masons are. What they were really doing was preventing a Napoleon-type strong-arm from taking the Colonies away from their control.
I was floored. Luckily, I was in bed, and my fiancée was asleep next to me. I wanted to yell out, “What the hell?” but instead whispered curses to myself. It’s bad enough that conspiracy theories screw with logic so badly that it can be difficult to cut through all the bullcrap. Most of us end up saying, “Huh, that could be true,” and let it seep into our subconscious, poisoning our reasoning. Once we accept that there are huge structures of control around us that we can’t even see, let alone access, we begin to assume that we are powerless to decide anything. Nothing means anything anymore.
And it is a poison. Let’s ignore for a moment the idea that there is a shadow organization that means to enslave us by some crazy-assed means. Let’s ignore the idea that a single group, hellbent on world domination, would pit two nations, *that were already under its control*, against each other in order to further its agenda. Instead, let’s look at the dates:
* The French Revolution: 1789–1799.
* *Napoleon* stages the coup leading to his installation as emperor: 1799
* The American Revolution: 1775–1783
* *George Washington*, a [Freemason][4], is elected first President of the United States: 1789
So the Masons were so sophisticated that they knew the revolution, which would not occur in France for 6 more years, would end in bad tidings for them, so they labored to get the very unpopular George Washington into office, which would prevent a Napoleon-like leader (Napoleon himself keeping busy, but out of history, for a further 10 years) from taking over America.
Brilliant.
To be fair, I realize that what the program was actually saying was that the writers and producers don’t know shit about history. I understand that their ignorance is the very thing that feeds their paranoia about Freemasons. It’s really easy to connect the dots when we don’t actually connect them in any particular order. No doubt, when we do, it always comes out shaped like a pentagon or pentagram or crescent moon, or whatever else we feel like being scared about.
Freemasons. I snort in their general direction. They couldn’t rule a city block. But so what? The vast majority of Freemasons are just interested in having a beer with some buddies. They’re as powerful as volunteer fire departments and the Elk Lodge. Unless you’re [Ed Brown][5], who convinced me that even idyllic New Hampshire can have it’s share of paranoid, militia-forming nutjobs. I have a huge amount of respect for New Hampshire’s motto, *Live Free or Die*. (I believe that to my core. In that way, I, too, am a nutjob.) But Ed Brown gives us patriots a bad name. See, he’s convinced that his taxes are going to pay for evil [Freemason plots][6].
> Brown, who asserts that the federal government has no jurisdiction in New Hampshire and no authority to charge him under a non-existent law, said the activity surrounding his properties in Plainfield and West Lebanon yesterday was a “Zionist, Illuminati, Free Mason movement.”
Or maybe he just wants justification to not pay his taxes. Maybe that’s the real genesis of conspiracy theories. If we don’t like something or the man is keeping us down, why not just say that the Oogey-boogeys are zapping all of us with Depresso-rays (and I’m particularly sensitive to those damned rays). It’s a lot easier than admitting failure. Hell, maybe we could even get a book deal out if it. Or produce a really crappy public access show with a kick-ass metal track. Yeah! That’ll show them Oogey-boogeys.
[1]: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sabatier_Effect
[2]: http://dirkgently.podomatic.com/ “Not a Wikipedia link!”
[3]: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reign_of_terror
[4]: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/George_Washington#Religious_beliefs
[5]: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edward_Lewis_Brown
[6]: http://www.unionleader.com/article.aspx?headline=Ed+Brown+says+feds+have+no+jurisdiction+in+New+Hampshire&articleId=844a9c5f-5475-4d71-a149-102ea693ee4b
Karma Police, arrest this girl
So I have a funny blog about anti-mason programming on public access cable, but that’s going to have to wait a day or two.
Let me talk today about terrorists.
I call on authorities to arrest [US Attorney Roslynn Mauskopf][1], who is terrorizing Americans by claiming that the looney and implausible plot to *blow up* a gas main leading into Kennedy Airport was “one of the most chilling plots imaginable,” and that “the devastation that would be caused had this plot succeeded is just unthinkable.”
Just how unthinkable?
> Richard Kuprewicz, a pipeline expert and president of Accufacts Inc., an energy consulting firm that focuses on pipelines and tank farms, said the force of explosion would depend on the amount of fuel under pressure, but it would not travel up and down the line.
>
> “That doesn’t mean wackos out there can’t do damage and cause a fire, but those explosions and fires are going to be fairly restricted,” he said.
(Quoted from [AP/MSNBC][2])
*Chilling*? *Unthinkable*? I believe that this is sufficient evidence that the US Attorney is guilty of terrorizing a nation. Because, otherwise, she’s simply too stupid to realize that setting fire to a gas main is what happens every time someone lights a burner on his stove.
Yes, the criminals that were arrested believed that they would “cause greater destruction than in the Sept. 11 attacks,” but, of course, they would not. And luckily, they are under arrest. However, there are many other people who are just as dangerous and irresponsible as those that hatched this cockamamy plot. Uncritically, the AP reporter, Adam Goldman, [writes][3]:
>[P]ipeline and security experts agreed that such an attack would have crippled America’s economy, particularly the airline industry,…
without mentioning the names of these experts or exactly how setting fire to the pipelines would cripple the economy. But I will take it on faith that he did get some experts on record to say such things, meaning that Adam Goldman should be interrogated until we get the names of these terrorist “experts,” who claimed such fantastic, awful results, all in the name of terrorizing the public.
A more sober look a the plot comes from an [Australian newspaper][4]:
> But experts cast severe doubt on the practicalities of the plot. JFK airport, like other airports around the world, is fed by a series of pipelines that supply jet fuel and heating oil…. [S]abotaging part of the system would be highly unlikely to lead to a chain explosion. Also, jet fuel does not produce an explosive force unless it is under pressure or vapourised; and pipelines and tanks have safety valves to contain any mishap.
Those that hype this plot are doing **more** damage to the economy, to society, and to our safety than the plotters ever could have done. Lesson for terrorists: Get a job that has access to the media, and you can terrorize us 24 hours-a-day.
[1]: http://www.usdoj.gov/usao/nye/district/usabio.html
[2]: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/18999503/
[3]: http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070603/ap_on_re_us/terrorism_plot
[4]: http://www.theage.com.au/news/world/jfk-airport-plot-foiled-151-and-flawed/2007/06/03/1180809336934.html
Dropped by Traveler’s
I consider myself a good driver, but I do tend to drive fast (i.e. 10–20 miles over the speed limit), and I have an unhealthy contempt for bad traffic-flow control (i.e. no-turn-on-red signs at 1 in the morning; traffic lights that are set with a fixed timing and no sensors… at 1 in the morning). So in the past three years, I have gotten two tickets. The first was for speeding (80 in a 55 zone. Ouch. Too fast even for me). The second, just this past February, was for “Failing to Heed Traffic Control Device,” or somesuch, by which was meant I turned right-on-red at 1 in the morning on an empty stretch of road that just happened to have a no-turn-on-red sign.
I could get into this more. There is nothing that animates me more than a discussion of stupid traffic laws. But I have a bigger fish to fry.
**Traveler’s Auto Insurance**.
Traveler’s is dropping my fiancée and myself because of these two tickets. Our insurance agent told us that Traveler’s was canceling our policy, which was an unfortunate wording, because by New York State law, Traveler’s cannot cancel the policy, not for these two tickets, anyway. But what they can do is not pick up the policy when we go to renew it, which is what they’re doing. What bothers me is that on January 1, 2008, the first ticket, speeding, will go off my record. And between the two of us, we don’t have any other marks on our licenses. Traveler’s told the insurance agent that it was specifically the speeding ticket that prompted them not to renew our policy, but that ticket is basically four-years old. Older, in fact, than our policy with Traveler’s. I went into the policy with that ticket.
Bah! I say. Whatever!
Traveler’s wasn’t cheap. The deductible was large. They would never allow us to get a year-long policy, only six-months. The only reason we went with them was because we had another insurance policy with them for something unrelated, and they gave us a break on that second policy. When the time comes, I think, we won’t be picking up that policy with Traveler’s. It seems they yielded when they should have come to a complete stop.
The vast majority of **7-11**s on Long Island are on the north or west side of the road. A corollary to this rule: I am always traveling east- or northbound, which forces me to make a left turn/u-turn to get to a 7-11. Although I’ve only been to Orient Point once, I am apprently always headed there.
At a recent visit to **Trader Joe’s**, I purchased a *Spring Onion Rice Noodle Soup Bowl*. The packaging made it look like a step up from typical dried brick-style Ramen noodles. (Always note the words “Serving Suggestion” on packaging. There are no peas, corn, carrot shavings, baby corn, or basil leaves in the soup.) These soups come in their own bowl, which makes it easier to make (no dirty pots), and adds significantly to the waste. While one can conceivably keep the plastic bowl, there is a cardboard outer-package, the bowl is wrapped in plastic, there are three plastic-wrapped flavor-packets within the bowl, and these are wrapped in a larger plastic wrapper. Cardboard can usually be recycled, but my town does not want cardboard from food containers. The plastic bowl is [numbered 5][5], which my town does not recycle, and it doesn’t come with a lid, which makes it usefulness, after using it for the soup, limited.
But enough of the waste. How does it taste? Pretty good. Sweet for a soup. Peppery, too, which gives it a bit of zing. The noodles, despite what it looks like on packaging, are not long noodles. This soup must be eaten with a spoon. Those that like to ruin Ramen noodles by breaking up the brick will appreciate the length of these noodles; I, however, do not.
One problem with rice noodles is that they continue to suck up any liquid long after cooking. The instructions indicate that soup can be microwaved or cooked by adding boiling water. Either case, it takes about 3 minutes. That’s fast soup. But as the soup cools, the noodles increase in width until it’s hard to find any free liquid. The noodles never become too spongy in texture, though.
A clear benefit of this soup over Ramen noodles is the amount of fat. Like Ramen noodles, one package is two servings. Also like Ramen noodles, eating half of it is a joke. It does not keep well. But the entire package of *Spring Onion Rice Noodle Soup Bowl* is only 4g of fat (2g saturated), where a typical package of Ramen noodles is 14g of fat (7g saturated). It’s not much better sodium-wise, however: 1250mg vs 1600mg. Pre-packaged food rarely stacks up in this case. But I often add other flavorings to Ramen noodles, and I don’t have to with this one, so I’m still better off since I’m not adding more salt.
Finally, the other major difference is price. Ramen noodles can be found for little more that a dime per package. This bowl was 99¢. Not that big of a deal, but still, 900% more expensive. It would have been tough justifying this extravagance in college.
[5]: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polypropylene
Greenshines
Steve Jobs just put out an [open letter][1] laying out the plans for Apple to become more environmentally-neutral. It’s an interesting read, and it’s great to see that Apple has worked and will work to get a lot of the poisonous garbage out of it’s systems.
There were a couple of things that I did not know before.
* If you bring your old iPod to any Apple Store to recycle, they’ll take off 10% of a new iPod. They’ll be extending that program this year by allowing you to mail it in.
* Apple pretty much eliminate lead from it’s manufacturing chain by eliminating CRT monitors.
* This one is obvious, but it never occurred to me before: lighter machines mean less waste. As items get smaller, not only do they take up less material, but they also leave less of a footprint on the environment. Sure this one is kind of a *duh* moment for me, but I just hadn’t considered it.
This was basically a way for Steve to tell [Greenpeace to shove it][2]. They’ve been singling out Apple for not being green, and letting other computer companies with future plans for reducing waste to slide. I can’t wait until someone else [pisses off Steve.][3]
[1]: http://www.apple.com/hotnews/agreenerapple/ “These open letters are great.”
[2]: http://arstechnica.com/journals/apple.ars/2006/12/07/6206
[3]: http://www.apple.com/hotnews/thoughtsonmusic/