I am now the proud owner of a simply huge 1984 Buick LeSabre, which, with the inspiration from my friend, Erick, I have christened LeBarge. The car, a gift from my grandmother, costs over $1600 for me to insure per year with nothing but the basic coverage for New York State. My license is clean and my driving record is almost so, but none of that information matters, since I was given this rate before my records were looked up. This is the basic going rate for a new customer. My Volkswagon, which I still owe someone money for, was junked after the right front axle fell off. Right into the road. This caused no injury or property damage, so I was pretty damned lucky there, and the new LeBarge, as noted, was a gift, so all in all I made out on the change. And now, 38 people can ride with me in American-style comfort, in my 4-gallons-to-the-mile Buick. And, ha! my trunk is bigger than your pitiful SUV. I’m thinking of painting LeBarge metallic-purple or orange. Then maybe I’ll get a large feathered hat to wear while driving. Those bouncy suspension-thingies that I see on all those urban music videos are also on the list. You can’t stop me. Issa free country, innit?