What is this world coming to? Even hoodlums don’t know the rules anymore. It used to be, in my day, when you needed to steal a license plate, you only stole the front plate. This way, the person whom you stole the plate from wouldn’t notice for weeks that a plate was missing, and therefore wouldn’t report it, and you could go on your merry way with the stolen plate on the back of your unregistered vehicle. That’s the way we did it when we were young, dammit! But just two weeks ago, what happens? My girlfriend’s plates are stolen from her new car — both plates! We see the car in the parking lot, and an eagle-eyed friend notices the plates are gone, so we call the police who file a report. So what did the thief get away with? Nothing! It wasn’t vandalism, since the car was not marked up in any other way. It was just stupid, because now the plates are worthless. And just in case you see New York plates with the number ALL 7111, feel free to beat the perp… I mean, driver, about the head with the dumb stick, ’cause he’s probably used to it by now.