I have to make a promise to never walk into a Starbucks alone. When I go in with other people, I’m all business. Let’s get our fruity coffees and leave. Don’t buy the muffins. Don’t buy the mugs. And especially don’t buy the overpriced albums.
But when I’m by myself, I’m much more relaxed. And impulsive. There I am buying my iced coffee, when I see an album called Hail, Brtiannia: The British Invasion 1964–1969. It’s a collection of a bunch of singles of bands like The Kinks and Traffic. It even has a wonderful instrumental from a way-pre-Stevie-Nicks Fleetwood Mac. It was too hard to resist. I mean it was only $14. If I purchased the 16 tracks from iTunes, it would have cost over $15. But I probably wouldn’t have purchased the Lulu track, or the worst Dusty Springfield song, “Wishin’ and Hopin’.”
Seriously, that song sucks. It’s catchy, because it’s written by Burt Bacharach, who writes very catchy but really crappy songs. There I said it. The worst song on The White Stripes Elephant is the one written by Bacharach, “I Just Don’t Know What To Do With Myself.” Of course, when I hear the song, I keep singing it in my head for a day or two. I can hum it now, while listening to something else. And Dusty Springfield’s incredible voice is totally wasted on that damned song. Grumble, grumble.
Anyway, besides “Wishin’ and Hopin'” and “To Sir with Love,” the songs on the album are pretty good and paint a nice picture of what must have been an incredible time to listen to pop music. I had to buy it. And right next to it was a Thelonious Monk compilation. So help me, I’ll never walk into a Starbucks alone again.
On the chalk board at Starbucks, they had a question of the week: “What fruit has the most fat per serving?” I had an answer right away, because I think it’s the only fruit with fat. Every other oily vegetable is either a nut or a seed. What do you think it is?