Author: MacPhoenix

With the Bush Administration, I am reminded of a cartoon of an anthropomorphized animal, dancing around in a tutu, on a stage that is in tatters from the stage lights and curtain weights that have fallen from above, each leaving a splintered crater in its wake. The cartoon character is blissfully unaware of each hurtling object, and manages to dance away from the spot just before the next sandbag would have made him into a pancake. There is some [Carl Starling][1] music playing, no doubt, and the feet of the character’s leotards are comically ill-fitting.
And while it is my very nature to laugh inappropriately, to guffaw loudly at the blackest comedy, I can only smirk inwardly at the dancing idiot in this cartoon, because he’s ruining a perfectly fine country. Let’s call him [Commander Codpiece][3].
Each falling object is labeled with some crisis that the Bushies couldn’t handle: The Economy. The Chinese spy plane. 9/11. The failure to capture Osama. North Korean nukes. The lies and hyperbole leading up the Iraq war. The Iraq war. Katrina. The Abramoff money-laundering lobbyist scandal. The NSA spying without warrants. Iran.
Everyone is aware of these things, but there are too many people who are just [entertained by the silly dancing][2]. Some people assume because he’s on stage, he must be respected. I just see an idiot dancing to funny music. Some assume Commander Codpiece shows skill by avoiding the falling debris. Whereas I see a very lucky cartoon character who has a [sympathetic director][4]. And I’ll be very happy when the little pig comes out, stuttering, “That’s all folks!”
**Update:** Oh, Medicaid. They couldn’t handle that one, either. And Energy and Environmental initiatives. And Harriet Myers. And pretzels.
[1]: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carl_Stalling “Or Raymond Scott music, depending on your level of geekitude.”
[2]: http://atrios.blogspot.com/2006_01_22_atrios_archive.html#113805609193310561
[3]: http://www.theworriedshrimp.com/DeficitDubya32.html
[4]: http://www.danzigercartoons.com/cmp/2005/danziger2462.html

On the teaser for WCBS local 11 o’clock news, Jim Rosenfield says, “Jews around the world are praying for Ariel Sharon.”
Without trying to notice the irony of a man named Rosenfield saying this, I had to wonder if Vladimir Putin were gravely ill, if the news would tell me that “Russian Orthodox Catholics around the world are praying,” for him. Or when Queen Elizabeth’s health fades, “Episcopals (or Anglicans, take your pick) around the world…,” etc.
Stupid, stupid, stupid. I’ve seen dozens of photos of Orthodox Jews praying at the [Wailing Wall][1], all apparently doing so because Sharon is in the hospital, but I can’t help but question when that stock footage was taken, and how often those same men are at the Wall, no matter who is sick. Should he die, the government of Israel will survive. Arial Sharon is an elected leader. He is not a religious leader.
It worries me that the stupid media can’t understand the difference anymore.
[1]: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Western_Wall

In 1992, I voted for Bill Clinton. Shortly after that, I was disappointed by almost everything that he did. At the time, I confused *Democratic* for *Liberal*, and Bill was such a good centrist. He moved the entire Democratic Party towards the muddled center. I switched parties, and voted down the Liberal line every election until they took my party away. (New York State no longer has a Liberal Party on the ballot.) So, I voted for Nader in 1996–and for “Grandpa” Al Lewis for Governor–and erroneously did the same in 2000. Well, I didn’t vote for Grandpa again, since he wasn’t on the ballot.
Anyway, what Bill did to really annoy me was throw his weight behind an FBI initiative called the “Clipper chip.” This was supposed to allow the FBI to eavesdrop on any cell phone communication with minimal hassle. We were assured that they would only do so after receiving a court order. The reason for this chip was to make it easy to break the encryption on cell phone transmissions, because even if the Feds could easily get the court order, it didn’t mean that they could understand what they were listening to.
But this was a bad idea on several levels. The first was the method of the “key,” by which the Fed would be able to tap the phone. The key was a long series of bits that would open up the phone’s encryption, but the government wasn’t about to tell anyone how long (it turned out to be 80-bits), which is important, because shorter bit-lengths are easier to crack. In other words, no one knew how secure a phone conversation would be, because some high-school kid could have broken into your Clipper chip. Or perhaps a business rival. Or a foreign agent.
Another problem, which proved to be the death knell for the ol’ Clipper chip, was that it would be required by law on every phone sold in *America* (or made by American companies), where the law was applicable. Of course, criminals and nefarious types could just get their phone in some other country, where the cell phones wouldn’t be hobbled by the chip, thus defeating the very “purpose” of the chip.
It was bad policy, and was abandoned in 1996, but the damage, in my mind at least, to the Clinton legacy was forever soldiered onto the circuit board of history. Or something. Bill Clinton was [bad for personal privacy][1]. And you know what? Privacy wonks called him on it.
Clinton dismantled Welfare. And Welfare advocates called him on it.
Clinton supported NAFTA (a policy signed into law under Bush Sr). And labor unions called him on it.
*Don’t Ask; Don’t Tell*? Astoundingly bad policy. No Liberal would ever support that.
Michael Moore called Bill Clinton the greatest Republican president we’ve ever had. And Moore was right.
So, it confuses me that so-called Conservatives have such a tough time calling Bush Jr on his cavalier disregard for Conservative principles. He’s as conservative as Clinton was liberal. What’s more, where one could make a good case that Clinton tacked to the right (to his success, I admit), economically and socially, Bush, rather than tacking towards the left or the right, is actually sinking the sailboat all together. Bush is totally off the charts on principles, ethics, and morals. But so few Republicans, Conservatives, or, damn them, Democrats dare to speak up. It’s inconceivable!
But maybe I’m not using that word right.
Then we have Drudge. The man who tried to take down the Clinton Administration, does his best to prop up the decaying hulk of the Dubya Junta, by, of course, [blaming Clinton][2]. Doesn’t hurt to keep your eyes shut that tightly? Can you breathe with your head buried so deeply? Wake up! Wake up! There is more danger to our nation wrapped in our flag than the pathetic plans of men who dream of martyrdom.
[1]: http://www.eff.org/Privacy/Surveillance/Terrorism/960424_aclu_terror_bill.announce
[2]: http://thinkprogress.org/2005/12/20/drudge-fact-check/

In this time of the brutal War on Christmas, it takes a strong leader to remind us what is really important, which is the continual War on Reason. No matter how far into ignorance and blindness we must go, King George will lead us there, appointed by God, anointed by Jesus, and filled with the Holy Spirit.
King George. We are so lucky to have him. Any lesser man would be troubled by [breaking the law][1] [over][2] and [over][3] and [over][4] again. But unto the King, no laws need stand, for he is Law, and he is Justice, and he is merciful to his subjects, even when they [disagree with him][4a]. And King George knows he must break the law to protect us, because otherwise we might vote for the opposition party, and they do not have the balls to do what is right in the face of imminent danger, oh yes one-day-in-the-nebulous-future-imminent danger.
King George. Appointed by God’s Heavenly Agents on Earth. Anointed by [the press][5]. Filled with Holy Spirit as only a dry drunk can be. Why were we the lucky ones? What if King George had been born unto the [heathen oil-drillers][6]? What if King George had had but one successful business venture instead of [several failed ones][7] before entering politics? What if King George had [concentrated][8] his whole life to ethics, sociology, history, politics, or economics? Would he still be our King?
Thankfully, these need no answer, because he his our [King][9]. And may God have mercy on us all.
[1]: http://abcnews.go.com/WNT/story?id=1422504
[2]: http://villagevoice.com/news/0551,hentoff,71124,6.html
[3]: http://www.counterpunch.org/leopold12172005.html
[4]: http://www.tompaine.com/articles/20051011/a_snake_oil_president.php
[4a]: http://www.prospect.org/weblog/archives/2005/12/index.html#008676
[5]: http://mediamatters.org/items/200512190005
[6]: http://www.informationclearinghouse.info/article3308.htm
[7]: http://alaric3rh.home.sprynet.com/science/bceo.html
[8]: http://www.thetruthaboutgeorge.com/bushisms/index.html#think
[9]: http://tbogg.blogspot.com/2005/12/prince-whose-character-is-thus-marked.html