Quick Takes Winter 2004
Chasing Liberty
Here’s the pitch: the President’s daughter (Mandy Moore), unable to stand the oppressive control of her father (Mark Harmon), runs away across Europe with a stranger (Matthew Goode) and the Secret Service in tow. It’s a movie starring Mandy Moore. What else is there to say? You either like it because or her or hate it because of her. It has more pluses than minuses, but in no way resembles a great movie.
Big Fish
I can tell you the exact moment I fell out of love with Tim Burton as a filmmaker. It was about 5 minutes into his unnecessary remake of Planet of the Apes. Mr. Burton returns three years later to make amends for having cruelly stolen two hours of our lives away with this “charming” tale of William Bloom (Billy Crudup), a man trying to reconcile with his dying father, Edward (Albert Finney). The issue: the son feels he cannot believe the tall tales his father has made up about his life. Ewan McGregor plays the younger Edward Bloom in flashbacks and the supporting cast includes Jessica Lange, Danny DeVito, Helena Bonham Carter, and Steve Buscemi. It is good? Yes. Am I losing sleep that it was snubbed in the Academy Awards race? No.
Torque
Remember going to the movies and seeing motorcycle chases that actually involved real motorcycles? Well, the makers of Torque probably hope you don’t because their entire climatic chase sequence is computer generated. And yes, it is as cheesy at it sounds. Delayed over a year so as it would not be confused with that other cinematic motorcycle epic Biker Boyz, the “plot” revolves around fast bikes, murderous frame-ups, crystal meth, and lots and lots of stuff being blown up. So why don’t I hate this film as much as I hated something like Charlie’s Angels? Two reasons: 1) The so-bad-it’s-genius motorcycle showdown between Shane (Monet Mazur) and China (Jaime Pressly), and 2) It begs to ask the question—how many different ways can you use “bitch” in everyday conversation? Martin Henderson of The Ring is supposed to be the hero here, but he somehow manages to be upstaged by the bikes. Ice Cube phones it in as the leader of one of the biker gangs.
The Butterfly Effect
Okay, so everyone in the free world hates Ashton Kutcher because he’s beautiful. However, The Butterfly Effect is not nearly as bad as many critics claim it is. Kutcher plays Evan, a psych student who has discovered a way to change the traumatic events of his childhood by traveling through time. However, each event he changes causes new problems to emerge. Good premise, fair execution. It’s worth a look on video.
Along Came Polly
The year is still new, but I think I already have my first candidate for “The Film Most Likely to be Playing at the Multiplex from Hell.” Ben Stiller and Jennifer Aniston basically pay the rent with this story of a risk analyzer who enters a risky romance with the title character after his new bride sleeps with a scuba instructor on their honeymoon. Alec Baldwin, Phillip Seymour Hoffman, and Debra Messing make up the supporting cast. UGH!
Mona Lisa Smile
Julia Roberts gets more than she bargained for when she takes a job teaching art at Wellesley College. Julia Stiles, Kirsten Dunst, Gennifer Goodwin and Maggie Gyllenhaal play some of her students. Not to repeat myself but: “Good premise, fair execution. It’s worth a look on video.”
Paycheck
Okay, so Uma Thurman does a martial arts movie where she basically kicks everybody’s ass and what is her reward? She gets cast by John Woo as the girlfriend to Ben Affleck. Talk about weird. Affleck plays a computer engineer who wakes up to find that three years of his life are gone and some people are out to kill him. Can he unravel the mystery of what happened before they get to him? Not as bad as you may think, but I kept being distracted wondering whether or not Uma could kick Ben’s ass. I think she could.
Submitted 29 January 04. Posted 31 January 04.
