Category: Short Subjects

From this quiz, (link via [Orcinus][1]), I found out that I’m an [existentialist][2]. I figured I’d be materialist, but, hey, who am I to argue with an unobjective, unscientific test? Wait! [Who am I, period][3]?

You scored as Existentialist. Existentialism emphasizes human capability. There is no greater power interfering with life and thus it is up to us to make things happen. Sometimes considered a negative and depressing world view, your optimism towards human accomplishment is immense. Mankind is condemned to be free and must accept the responsibility.

Existentialist		88%
Materialist		81%
Postmodernist		75%
Modernist		63%
Idealist		50%
Cultural Creative		44%
Romanticist		31%
Fundamentalist		25%

What is Your World View? (updated)
created with QuizFarm.com

This quiz is also written in some of the ugliest code I have on my site! Wheeee!
[1]: http://dneiwert.blogspot.com/2005/12/contests-and-quizzes.html
[2]: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Existentialism
[3]: http://www.tameri.com/csw/exist/exist.html

>Lunatic fringe
>In the twilight’s last gleaming
>This is open season
>But you won’t get too far
>We know you’ve got to blame someone
>For your own confusion
>But we’re on guard this time
>Against your final solution
Image from [the Democratic Party][1]. Link via [Pharyngula][2]. *Lunatic Fringe* by [Red Rover][3].
[1]: http://www.democrats.org/a/2005/12/lamar_discourag.php
[2]: http://pharyngula.org/index/weblog/comments/like_i_said_thugs/
[3]: http://phobos.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewAlbum?playlistId=532369&s=143441&i=532357

After several years of questionable tax practices (just kidding Mr. IRS-man), I have finally made it official. [MacPhoenix Design][1] is open for business. Now let the millions come rolling in.
Despite being a poor schlub, I like to do the right thing as far as software and fonts and such. When I’m working on something for myself, like Halloween invites, I don’t stress too much about what typeface I’m using and how it was obtained, but when I do commercial work, even for things I put on [CafePress][2], I like to make sure I actually own the typeface I used. I mean, it’s the very least I can do, since I am, uh, *testing* several hundred fonts.
Actually, I tend to stick to the fonts that Microsoft and Adobe install with their software, which fits my need, especially on the web, 90% of the time. But I used to work at Kinko’s, and people would install crazy amounts of fonts on the self-service computers there. When we cleaned the machines out, we would inevitably save a copy of whatever was put on there. On a [SyQuest 88][6], of course. Ah, the memories.
Anyway, as I said, I like to do the right thing. Now that MacPhoenix Design is going legit, I decided that I really should get a license for [Pike][3], the typeface that is the base for the [MacPhoenix logo][4]. I went to [FontHaus][5] to order it, and filled out the registration, when, during confirmation of my data, FontHaus told me I was already registered. I checked my voluminous email archive for a receipt from FontHaus, and, sure enough, I had purchased Pike over two years ago.
This made me feel exceptionally good about myself.
[1]:http://design.macphoenix.com/ “MacPhoenix Design. Web design and hosting for the people.”
[2]:http://www.cafepress.com/macphoenix “MacPhoenix Swag”
[3]:http://www.identifont.com/show?4AV “A good database of fonts and their foundries.”
[4]:http://www.macphoenix.com/_images/home/ws_header.gif “My awesome logo.”
[5]:http://www.fonthaus.com “They’ve got good prices.”
[6]:http://www.dpts.co.uk/media/images/media/syquest88.jpg “Aw yeah! 88 MEGAbytes of grinding noises and indecipherable blinking lights!”

I’ve gotten a couple of weird spam emails in the past couple of weeks. My spam filters are set extraordinarily high, but occasionally a few creep through, like these two below, which had no actually web address to click on. Instead, I was invited to call a phone number that a reverse trace revealed to be somewhere in Washington state.
The first was titled *Requested Material*, which is a sure sign that I never requested the material:
>Just a Reminder;
>
>Our University Enrollment department has been trying to contact you.
>The date for enrolling in our 2 week degree program is ending on
>Friday, November 25th, 2005.
>
>As of now we can only offer you a BA, BSc, or a MA.
>If you enroll by the due date then your degree of choice and transcripts
>can be sent to you within 2 weeks.
>
>Enrollment Office:
>1-206-xxx-1674
>
>
>Riley Lewis
>BSc Education
>Administration Office
*BSc Education*, huh? That must be Ivy League. I can get a Bachelors or Masters degree in two weeks? Wow! Sounds easier than Harvard Business School, where any dumb president can earn a solid “C.”
The second, titled *Re:Education*, a lovely pun, was received two weeks later, where I was relieved to learn that they finally broke through the bureaucratic loggerhead that prevented them from offering me a doctorate in only two weeks. But I’m a little concerned about any University that can’t actually spell “university” correctly:
>Attention:
>
>Based on your present knowledge and past life experiences our University administration office has been trying to contact you. We feel you may qualify for one of our Univsersity*(sic)* degrees in your area of expertise.
>
>We have been qualifying people based on thier experiences in past and present jobs and are offering qualified degrees with transcripts for those that qualify.
>
>If you call our offices now we can confirm our information and send you either a Bachelors’, Masters’, or Doctorate within 2 weeks.
>
>
>Administration Office Number:
>1-206-xxx-1674
>
>Administration Hours:
>24 hours, 7 Days a week, including Sundays and Holidays
>
>University Administration
>Eric Moore
>Client Identification: Q6491
This one didn’t even put in the “BSc Education” name, which is probably nonsense anyway, and just settled for the ubiquitous *University Administration*. So is this a guy in a basement with a laser printer and some fancy paper who prints up degrees on demand? I’m tempted to call up and ask for a degree in *Cartoonology* or somesuch. Something that would really help me get ahead, you know?
And what a difference a dash makes. I originally read “past life experiences” as “past-life experiences” and thought of Scientology, but it was just phrased awkwardly and not actually referring to my previous existence as [Charlemagne][1], which would easily earn me a degree in “Bat-shit Crazy.”
[1]: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charlemagne “Anyone with European blood in them is supposedly related to him. At least according to Kurt Vonnegut.”

Jinx, our well-dressed turkey of a cat, considers herself the middle of our three-being clan. When she and I stare each other down, I win; she’ll look away first. But when Katherine and Jinx stare at each other, Jinx actually charges poor Katherine. Jinx doesn’t actually do anything but try to get Kathy to stop looking at her, but it bemuses poor Katherine while it never fails to amuse me.
The cat has lately taken to playing a game of chicken with Katherine that reminds me of the classic kids game, Red Light Green Light, where one kid stands towards one end of a yard, and the other kids can only move when the first kid is not looking. Jinx waits for Kathy to doze off. Katherine likes to fight falling to sleep, so she tends to get heavy-lidded and then pretend that nothing was happening if I look at her. But Jinx will take the opportunity to move closer to Katherine during these little 3-second nods. What’s particularly funny about this is that when Katherine opens her eyes again, Jinx will sit, wide-eyed, staring at Katherine, not moving again until Katherine succumbs to her exhaustion. Eventually, Jinx reaches Katherine, jumps right next to her, and scares the crap out of her.
At any point, of course, I could have stopped this, since I’m watching it all very intently. But that’s not what the top cat does.
Speaking of cats, I promised some weeks ago to post a picture of Annie, the cat of Erick and Michele’s that was killed by a car. In order to secure the photo, I had to mention that Bandit, their ferret, had died just before that from a blocked bladder. Two pets in just a week died for poor Erick and Michele. Now they’re just down to one bird… and five neighborhood/stray cats that Michele will probably entice into their house… and the three raccoons that feed on the same food that they leave out for the strays… and the baby which they’ll have in December. He’s not a pet, per se, but he’ll certainly be at their tender mercies.
Anyway, here’s the late Annie and Bandit sharing a meal:

A vibrant, historical American city is no more. It will be rebuilt, but until it is, a half of a million Americans have been displaced. Many of these people are don’t have the resources to secure any sort of necessities such as shelter, medicine, clean water, or food. A small donation to the [Red Cross][1] will help hundreds of people.
This is a shocking and disturbing catastrophe. That it takes place in the richest nation in the world, and that we still lack the infrastructure to manage it, is more disturbing. No one could have prevented a hurricane, but we had [plenty of warning][2] that one would do such damage. We must do what our government would not and apparently cannot do, and help the people of the Gulf Coast.
[1]: https://www.redcross.org/donate/redir.asp?splashpagebutton
[2]: http://www.hurricane.lsu.edu/_in_the_news/houston.htm

I got a letter posted on The Amazing Randi

I posted this over in the comments of Roger Ailes’s post on Floyd, and I thought that I was so funny and clever that I should post it here as it’s own entry. (I may be funny and clever, but I’m hardly original.) The original post was commenting on some numbnut from the Washington Times who takes issue with the Floyd album, The Final Cut.
There is an argument I make that applies to being a fan of anything. It’s called the pop-poseur rule, and it goes like this:

1. If you like the one thing that everyone else likes about a popular artist, you’re not a real fan. (With Floyd this would be saying, “My favorite is Dark Side,” or “I like The Wall.”)
2. If you like the most recent thing by a popular artist, you’re a poseur. (“Division Bell is R0x0rz!!!!1“)
3. If you know anything about the artist and consider yourself a real fan, then you’re favorite piece is something that will cause arguments with everyone else who has an opinion. (“Animals slightly edges out The Final Cut, but only because there was no keyboards after Waters kicked out Rick Wright.”)

With this in mind, I gotta say, if Division Bell is your top Floyd album, or even in the top 3, you cannot speak of The Final Cut with any authority. You know nothing about Floyd. I dare say you don’t have good taste either.

Lately, movies adapted from comic books have been successful about 50% of the time. For every X-Men or Spiderman, there is an Electra or The Incredible Hulk. Given that Batman Begins was a pretty good movie, I’m going to have to bet against the Fantastic Four. My motives are partially selfish, though, since one of the most amazing, well-written, and literary comic books (sorry, graphic novels) is being adapted into a movie by the guys behind The Matrix. It is V for Vendetta, by Alan Moore, who also wrote From Hell (an okay movie) and The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (a bad movie), so by my logic, he’s due for a decent adaptation, too.
When I found out this was going to be made into a movie, I was completely caught by surprise. Along with V for Vendetta, Alan Moore created The Watchmen, which is one of the very best graphic novels, at least amongst those that deal with superheroes. It also, by far, the more popular of the two. Years ago, there was talk of a Watchmen movie, directed by Terry Gilliam, which never came to fruition. The last thing I ever expected to hear was that V for Vendetta would be considered for a movie. Although it slightly edges out The Watchmen for Best Graphic Novel by an Englishman Who Is Not Neil Gaiman in my own personal award ceremony, it is far too subversive for American audiences. Basically, one of its themes is that anarchy is a preferable form of government (or lack thereof) over fascism. I actually agree with that, but I’m not that eager to experiment either way.
In any case, a fear was that, in this wonderful, double-plus good age of enlightenment that America is currently wallowing in, the marketing guys at Warner Bros. would sell this movie rather gingerly. This week, however, they unveiled a new “coming soon” poster (just in time for the Independence day weekend, they said), which had this for it’s tagline:

People should not be afraid of their governments. Governments should be afraid of their people.

And to that I say, “Amen.”
Another happy happenstance: The main character, “V,” was going to be played by James Purefoy, whom I have nothing against, mostly because I have no idea who he is, but he dropped out. He’s been replaced by Hugo Weaving, the actor behind Elron and Agent Smith. This is happiness, indeed. Of course, if they stay true to the story, we never actually see V’s face, but that’s for later.
*****
The man who introduced me to both The Watchmen and V for Vendetta is Joe Dubecky. He just informed me of his engagement (in the comments of this very blog!). Congratulations, Joe! And where did your website go?
*****
For the past several months, I’ve had ONE blog entry per month. That’s so weak. Thanks to those who stop by every now and then to see if I’ve updated anything. There is always the desire to do more and the laziness that prevents it from happening. Maybe this month, I’ll post twice.